NEED TO KNOW
- A 22-year-old woman says she was chastised by her 23-year-old vegan friend for bringing a meat-based dish to her dinner party
- According to the Reddit post, the woman did bring a vegan-based dish, but her friend was upset that she brought the meat-based dish as well
- Redditors had mixed reactions, though many felt miscommunication was to blame
A woman says she was chastised by her friends for bringing a meat-based dish to her vegan friend’s dinner party, and Redditors had mixed reactions to the mess.
According to the post, the 22-year-old woman was asked by her 23-year-old friend, Hannah, to “ bring plant-based dishes so everyone can try everything.”
But the woman didn’t think that meant she was required to bring a plant-based dish, and saw it as “more like a suggestion.”
So to honor her Chilean heritage, she brought two dishes: sopaipillas con pebre, which were vegan, and empanadas de pino, which were not. She also “made sure to put a visible tag” on the food to show what was vegan and what was not.
But apparently, Hannah “looked really upset” at the dinner, which had nearly 30 guests and more than 20 different dishes. Most of the dishes, according to the woman, were vegan.
After the party, the woman said she received a text from Hannah stating that she felt it “was really disrespectful for bringing animal products into her home.”
“I apologized, but I also didn’t think it was that big of a deal since I didn’t force her to [eat] it,” the woman said, noting that her friend didn’t try either of the dishes she brought.
The woman also suggested that she and other friends have eaten non-vegan food at Hannah’s apartment “plenty of times” before, “so I would’ve never guessed it would be such a problem.”
But many Redditors felt the woman crossed a line. “You knew your friend was vegan … You decided to bring food to your friend’s party that you knew your friend couldn’t eat, and to ignore what she said about everyone getting to try everything,” one person wrote.
“If you want to be invited back – ever – I suggest you apologize properly, acknowledge that was an AH move and you won’t do it again,” they added.
Another person said, “I would assume that bringing a meat dish into a vegan’s home wouldn’t be welcome, regardless of how the invite was worded. And if you weren’t sure, a text to the host to clarify would take like 5 seconds.”
One person felt it should be “common knowledge” that a vegan would not want animal products in their home.
“You somehow took her polite wording as not being a clear stipulation,” they wrote. “Why would you even risk a situation like this in a vegan home? It’s just not smart.”
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But some people sided with the woman who brought the meat-based dish. One person felt the situation was simply “a misunderstanding.”
“She believed she made a direct request. You believed she made a suggestion, which you accommodated nicely,” one person wrote.
A second person said an apology “would be appropriate,” but also felt there was miscommunication between the two.
“I do think she intended her message to ask people to only bring vegan stuff; but I can see why you might not have read it … as strong terms,” they wrote.
A third said Hannah’s language was part of the problem. “Her phrasing it as ‘if you could’ means she would appreciate it if you brought a vegan dish, but it’s not a requirement,” they wrote.
“If it was a requirement,” they added, “she should have explicitly said so, and used clearer language.”
