In a world where mushrooms and peas can be transformed into a ‘turkey’ centrepiece – can any vegan Christmas roast compare to the real deal? The Mirror’s Liam Gilliver conducted a thorough taste test to find out.
It’s been a good few years since I last had Turkey for Christmas. For some, that confession is sacrilegious – a load of PC-gone-mad-woke drizzle that will make your blood boil. Other, more sane folk, won’t really be impacted by my dietary choices, and a few may even sympathise with the pestered fuss that comes with not eating meat during this time of year. After all, Christmas Day really is like that episode of the Royle Family, where Nanna keeps asks if you can wafer thin ham.
Over the years, the boom of meat-free alternatives has been hard to ignore. Critics unironically warn that fake bacon isn’t actually good for you. Those on the other side of the veggie spectrum will try and convince you it tastes like the real deal, that soy protein broiled in stock is basically the exact same as your mum’s £80 turkey.
So, amid one of the most pointless culture wars in existence, I decided to taste test each supermarket-owned vegan Christmas roast to see whether the world really would end if I didn’t eat turkey on Jesus’ bday, and if any of them are actually any good. Lidl was booted out of the competition when I rushed in three days before the big day and *couldn’t believe* half their shelves were empty.
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Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference No Turkey Crown – 8/10
Featuring a ‘hand-finished vegan bacon lattice’ with sage and onion stuffing and a ‘star melt’ – this bad boy was subject to Sainsbury’s ludicrous dual-pricing. If you have a Nectar card, expect to pay just £3.50, which I think is a proper bargain. However, those not willing or able to sign up to the retailer’s scheme would have to fork out double the price (£7).
Appearance wise, I think faux meat always looks a little weird: like PlayDoh or one of those TikTok cake cuttings you can just tell aren’t real. Still, I can understand the appeal if you’re after a more traditional meaty experience. In fact, the cooking instructions require you to ‘baste’ the turkey (made from mushroom and soya protein ) while it’s in the oven – which feels like a nice gimmick, even if it doesn’t improve the taste. This roast was definitely pleasant. Its texture wasn’t quite perfect but it has some good components: a slightly thicker skin, stringy flesh, and parts that kinds of just melted in your mouth. If anything, the meat could have done with being a bit more dense to provide that ‘bite’ meat-eaters know and love. But, if coated in gravy and mint sauce, it’d be a while before you clocked on it wasn’t actually turkey.
My only gripe with this roast (aside the stark dual pricing) is the vegan bacon. It’s probably near-impossible to replicate the greasy and fatty make-up of bacon while also achieving its smokey flavour. However, it tasted too artificial for me, like a packet of Frazzles crisps had been turned into a Wham candy bar. I was never a fan of bacon (even when I did eat meat) so perhaps criticism around this is a tad bias. I tried out the ‘Pups in Blankets’ (£3.75 for a pack of 10) purely out of morbid curiosity too, and the bacon just didn’t quite work.
Aldi’s No Turkey Stuffed Crown – 7/ 10
From its Plant Menu range, this soy-based turkey was priced at £4.99 – which seems a little high considering Sainsbury’s Nectar price. The taste of this one was lovely and festive, but the flavours did kind of get lost in themselves, which may be down to too much stuffing and herbs. Still, it provided that ‘bite’ that I expect most people buying something like this are craving: a slightly tough and layered texture that kind of does mimic meat (I think).
The presentation of this crown felt a little less icky, and the star-shaped butters were a real nice touch. However, after reading the instructions, I realise you have to claw them off the top, add them into a bowl, and melt them in the microwave to ‘drizzle’ on top. I wasn’t so keen on the sensation of melting butter in my hands, and it kind of took away from the aesthetic of it. However, the umami taste of the butter was really lovely, and would be great on sandwiches the next day.
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Morrison’s No-Turkey Joint – 8/10
Under its Plant! Revolution range, Morrison’s vegan roast bares a lot of similarities to Sainsbury’s, and is priced at £6 which makes it one of the most expensive (even if you have a More Card). They both feature that smokey bacon flavour that really distracts your taste buds, and breaks the illusion you could be tucking into the real thing. Honestly, plant-based bacon looks like the padded soles you add into your shoes and needs a lot of development.
The stuffing centre and sprigs of rosemary were inoffensive, but hardly inspiring. The thing that does make this roast stand out, however, is the fact its made from pea and soy protein. This really helps achieve that chewy texture and really fills you up. If the bacon was taken off, this joint could have easily scored a 9/10. And yes, I may have accidentally burnt this one…
Tesco’s Finest Roasted Butternut Squash Wellington – 10/10
A ‘golden and flaky’ pastry featuring ‘seasoned vegetables, shallots and mushroom duxelles’ didn’t sound appealing to me when I lifted it from the shelf. I couldn’t see any faux-turkey joints in my local Tesco, and this was all that was left from the weekend raid that didn’t include dairy. At £7, even if you had a Clubcard, this seemed a little too pricey.
Despite my scepticism, this centrepiece ended up being a clear winner. Yes, it’s probably not going to go down well with your Uncle that needs meat for every meal in order to survive, and no it doesn’t taste like meat in anyway, but the fact that it’s not trying to be anything it’s not is perhaps part of its appeal.
The pastry cooked beautifully, without having to be basted or covered in foil to prevent burning, and the butternut squash layer at the bottom had a deliciously dense and complex flavour. Dare I say, I double-checked to see whether they’d snuck some soy protein in there, as it was very similar to the vegan ‘turkey’ roasts – just with the caramelised flavour of roasted butternut squash. The seasoned veg and mushrooms were lovely and well-seasoned, and the contrast of sauce and textures avoiding feeling like you were simply eating a bunch of vegetables. Of course, if you’re wanting a meaty experience – perhaps go for the Sainsbury’s or Morrison’s vegan roast. But if you just care about enjoying good food – you really can’t go wrong with this one.
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